That dream really sucked. A girl I really care deeply about get’s into a relationship with another guy. The whole dream is looking at her happiness and me trying to cope with it all. I rather get stabbed then experience that again. Fuck that dream and my strange subconscious.
I had another dream about her. She’s on my mind constantly once again..ughh, here we go again.
I woke up at 4:50 AM feeling pretty strong. I felt like a super hero and was debating about going to the gym. I went back to sleep instead and had a funny dream. My job was to assassinate an older lady at a restaurant. The restaurant was pretty cool because it was a order anything kind of place. I ordered strawberry waffles that was the size of a small table and ate that when I was with my boys before the mission had been commenced. When the mission started, I went to the back table where it was slightly hidden and saw the woman. I pulled out my tiny sniper and was completly unnoticed by others around me. The weird part was that there was family around me at the same event. I got so occupied with eating the food that I completely forgot about the mission. Next thing I know, we ordered Ice Cream Pizza. It took a while but it was delicious. Mixed in the tomato sauce was strawberry ice cream and it was a combination on top. I kid you not, I ate over 20 slices. There was another dream that was pretty intense but I dont want to get into detail.
I wouldn’t say I had any regrets but I would say I wished I did a few things differently for these past couple of years. My dream tonight was once again all over the place with; random events, people I care about, and people I havn’t seen or hung out with in a long while. It started with thinking about Andrea then out of nowhere going on a huge search to find the perfect diner with my family at night time. We were driving random freeways and it looked like we were near San Francisco. My old friend Natasha was with me during this drive in the car and my family wasn’t there anymore at this point of the dream. We talked about petty reasons why we didn’t want to eat somewhere like I say this one girl I used to mess around with works there so we didnt go there or vice-versa. We eventually settle down in a spot but Tasha was gone and it was my family again. To be exact, it was just Addy, Randall, Timmy, and Jacob. I decided on getting the burger and only took a couple bites before bringing it home. Driving home is when the dream gets weird. It’s suddenly morning time and I decide to leave my car at my old apartment where I apparantly live again and drive my old Lexus. I drive it and leave it at Lean avenue in the middle of the street so I can do something I can’t remember to clearly. All I remember is I left it there and wrestlers from the WWE had a match on the street. I come to the realization that fuck…my car is probably going to get towed and my older brother is going to be sick. I feel actually sick to my stomach knowing that the fees of a tow is around $500 and I explained to my brother. I got pissed thinking that the wrestlers would drive my Lexus back to the driving space but they didnt.
Now the above was all the random and off tangent part of my dream. This following segment is what woke me up at 4:00 AM and worthy of a memory post on my dream blog. Im at home chilling and it’s around midnight. I get texts from so many different girls but two girls in particular that I cared about. Andrea and Sabrina texted me that night. Sabrina texted, “what are you doing right now?” “You free” I didnt reply to it as of yet. Im suddenly in a car with Andrea and her brother. We were in the driveway of her house and everyone is asleep. I was hungry and was pissed that Randall threw away that burger I got at the diner earlier. Andrea guided me threw her dark house quietly with a bunch of her relatives sleeping around and just Dre and I made it to the kitchen and she had a sandwich ready. I believe this is the point where I got all of those texts from different girls including Sabrina. Im there having a conversation with Drea and not sure what to expect. Maybe it was all build-up for sex but this conversation had a different feel too it. It felt like a conversation where we actually just told each other how we felt and a complete change of pace from how we talk now in real life. She asked me about if im serious with any girl at the moment and in reality I wasn’t. She said she can only be serious with me if I agreed that she was the only girl I will care for and follow through with that commitment.This was all happening while getting texts from all these different girls. Suddenly home in an instant. Addison, Tim, and a random fat dike chick needed to borrow my car to buy fishing supplies. Keep in mind that this is at the darkest, foggiest moment at night. They said they will be back in a couple of minutes. I didnt really say yes but they took my car anyway and it wasnt that big a deal. I didnt reply to anybodies text but I do care about Sabrina’s texts. Heck, she’s one of my best friend and I honestly don’t know what to expect from that crazy girl. I didnt know what to expect but I was super curious. I get a call from her at that moment and I pick up. She asks what im doing and etc and she sounds a little drunk. She said come meet me near my place. I’ll be near the bus stop. I told her I’ll be there right now and hung up. I check my watch for the time and waited frustratedly for my car to come back. I was very annoyed at this point of the dream. Calling those foos and them not picking up the phone. Then I get a video message from Andrea. My whole wall of my apartment became a virtual projector and im talking to her on my giant futuristic projector. I was honestly pretty happy to have talked to her at this part of the dream. The anger inside me subsided. She said ” Maybe we rushed into sex to fast and should of gotten to known each other more”. It led to a really nice talk about the little things we had in common and little stories about quirky things that happened in High School that we related with each other. Im just in total shock that we actually had a legit conversation about normal things. We end the conversation and I felt pretty good. I dont know the exact details but I remember some of that awesome dialogue we had. The clock is still ticking and I remember I had to meet up Sabrina! Im calling the fuckers wondering whats taking them so long and there was no reply. My Uncle pointed outside the window and its super early morning right now where it’s still dark outside with a hint of light. Dark enough for yellow street lights to stay on however. He points at my car in the parking spot but it was parked super ugly. I go to my car and there was morning dew on it so it’s been there for a while. The driver side door was open and the car behind me had a huge dent on it’s bumper. Im thinking like shit….better not be my car that hit it. Turns out, those fuckers hit the back car and broke my left brake light glass and bumper. They just left my car there with all the damages. Those damn jerks!! Anyways, I had no time to sulk over future insurance and hit and run issues. I had to make it to Sabrina. I go sit down on my driver seat in a rush and sat on what used to be my brake bulb. They left it in my front seat thinking thats going to make me feel better. Anyways, Im driving and I call her asking if she was still there and I was sorry. She was!! This is where I wake up and being half asleep but concious…try to make up this part of the dream. At this point, im not even dreaming anymore. Im practically just imagining future outcomes. Overall, it was a nice dream and im glad it took me an hour to type this on my phone.
"It was nice talking to you again A".
Come on Phay. Hold it together, you’re stronger than this.
I finally did it. I contacted Drea for the first time in 3 months and tonight..I didn’t expect a dream with this much magnitude. The current time is 5:36 AM and the effects of the dream is surprising. The details are kind of blurry because the dream was so abstract. It started with a night time meeting deciding who is riding with who in a car ride. It’s about to be memorial day weekend so this step is very important. I actually bonded with my Aunt Mickey more in this scene and we actually bonded with out her even riding with me in the car. I run across a familiar face and her name is Krystal. Back story is we used to have big time crushes on each other as kids. Now we dont even say one word to each other. I have no idea why she popped up in my dream but we talked and she was finally getting her Masters Degree in Communication. This is one dissapointment in my dream. It made me feel like I was way behind. We end up at the the Vacation House. It looked like any old random house. Plot twist- There was a lot more than meets the eye. A lot of my dreams involve really strange obstacle courses that test me one way or another. This one was completely strange and didnt make sense. The obstacles I remember: Trying to cross the ocean on unstable rocks, My cousin Christian’s old house, climbing up a church alter in a jungle like area, it was just really weird. This is where the dream gets really weird for my last couple of dissapointments. Nobody will understand this except me. It turns out Andrea’s family was staying in the same house as us but the rest of my family seems oblivious to that fact. It felt like we stayed at 2 different houses and there was distance but her room was litterally right down the hall. I dont know how to explain that, it just doesnt make sense. It was night time and I did not know what I did cause such outrage from her. I have had to have done something. I dont know if my EGO is blocking me from remembering my dream but I think I annoyed her when she was trying to sleep. I’ll skip the other unimportant details like I actually had time to teach a class somewhere between this awkward hour. It was around 5 oclock AM and my little brother wanted to borrow my car. This sounds weird but I knew he went to see Andrea. A couple hours pass and he comes back saying I got to be careful with the car because the battery might be week. This was dissapointment number 2. My brother of all people seeing the girl that I used to be stupid in love with. That should of hurt but it didnt, I still was dreaming and didnt wake up. I finally decide to go see her and she was on the bed sleeping with her little cousin. The kid was so cool too! She wakes up and says hi to me. In this whole sequence I don’t talk. The cousin comes up to me and I just play with him. Having a good time and she says the thing that hits me the hardest. I tried to go in and cuddle with her and honestly, try to get it in but she pushes me away. She said after what you did tonight I’m never giving you anything anymore. Im just standing there speechless. She says she wants to see me suffer knowing that the best sex of your life will always just be a flashback of me. Don’t ever talk to me again. Im speechless and tried to say something but the dream wouldnt allow me too. I look out the window in embarrassment and my whole family is setting up to barbeque. I really needed a beer and try to forget what she said. A few more details happen and then I finally woke up, At 5:36 AM. In all honesty…this dream could of evoked suicidal thoughts if I was at my absolute weakest..but when I woke up. I felt nothing. I didnt cry. I didnt overthink it. I just picked up my phone and decide to blog this on Tumblr before I forget it. This is my strange subconcious.
My dreams go off in different tangents and this one was all over the place. From taking a final with my nephew holding on to my leg the whole time to playing basketball with holograms. The strangest part about this dream was when it was turning dark. My family is watching football and my Filipina friend comes to visit. She’s just hanging out and i’m like let’s drink. She wanted to play “Power Hour” but the rules were so different in this dream. Here’s the weird part about the dream. She was so ruthless and cutthroat in the game it really detracted from her sweet exterior lol. She was so damn mean that I didnt even want to play anymore. I was like damn, remind to never ask her to drink with me again. It’s just funny…the sweetest girl ever turns out to be freaking evil when it involves competition and a little bit of alcohol. Fun dream none the less haha.
I know that feeling, Lisa.